We received this question on Facebook: What are the emotional/physical/mental “symptoms” (i.e., tender, feel as if going crazy) that one may experience at the “levels” of shadow work?

I’ll share some of the symptoms, and then in another blog, I’ll go more into the why. As you read these, remember that a symptom is an indicator of a condition, state, characteristic, or disturbance.

The primary symptom of shadow work is FEAR. Fear results in fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flop responses.

The most common fears are:

  • fear of loneliness (lack of connection)

  • fear of death/endings

  • fear of pain & suffering

  • fear of failure, fear of loss

  • fear of not possessing the resources required to deal with these fears

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS – EXAMPLES

1. FIGHT

  • constantly going on the offensive
  • acting aggressively with self and/or others – self-criticism and criticism of the other
  • disproportionate anger (the experience of fear and/or loss of power in disguise)
  • trying to “defeat” the shadow or “win” at shadow work, even making it “irrelevant” to the spiritual journey
  • making public social media posts to shame others whom you think did you wrong
  • overtly or covertly spreading your negative feelings/perceptions about others who have criticized you, called on you to be accountable before you’re ready and willing, or whom you believe have done you wrong
  • giving people the silent treatment so as to maintain power and control
  • attempting to control others with unchecked anger/rage, being argumentative, yelling
  • being constantly angry and frustrated at the whole world/life
  1. FLIGHT
  • focusing only on positive thinking at the expense of deeper work
  • spending longer hours with others so you don’t have to be alone with yourself
  • throwing yourself into countless psychospiritual or spiritual studies, programs, workshops to occupy your mind
  • chronically and obsessively fantasizing about planning your next adventure to get away from your everyday reality
  • working towards perfection in all aspects of your life so that no one can criticize or challenge you
  • abruptly ending relationships when you feel threatened
  • avoiding conflict or any situation that brings up difficult or painful emotions
  • using work, hobbies, or substances to fend off feelings of anxiety, fear, and panic
  • habitually drowning out difficult emotions with technology, music, social media, gaming, sexual activity, etc.
  1. FREEZE
  • avoiding close relationships and chronically choosing solitude because connection feels difficult/overwhelming, living a life of isolation at home
  • wearing a social/relational mask to hide emotions and feelings – habitually appearing to be even-keel and agreeable when inside you’re not
  • mentally checking out from situations that feel painful, stressful
  • determining that there is no safety anywhere and closing in to self-protect
  • living in chronic apathy and a sense of feeling jaded
  1. FAWN
  • appeasing parts of the psyche by hyper-focusing on the positive, love, and light (a more active form of avoidance)
  • focusing on keeping everyone else happy – compliance for approval, going into the mode of focusing on attending to others and always doing what’s best for everyone at the expense of your own needs and preferences
  • aiming to please the person threatening you so as to keep them happy and therefore seemingly mitigate your own stress
  • habitually making yourself as useful and helpful as possible even when it doesn’t align with your energy level or personal needs
  • neglecting or failing to develop your own self-identity – may include feeling as if you know very little about what YOU like and don’t like and enjoy and don’t enjoy
  • offering praise, admiration, and boundary-less nurturing even when they criticize you or put their issues onto you
  • avoiding sharing your own thoughts and feelings in relationships for fear of making others upset
  • establishing few, if any, boundaries around your own needs,

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS – EXAMPLES

*Any one of these trauma responses can result in panic attack, breathing challenges (asthma attacks), being flushed or pale, tense muscles/constriction, dilated pupils, dry mouth, extreme or subtle changes in body temperature, sleeplessness, nightmares, changes in heart rate, changes in appetite and energy, headaches, stomach problems, and/or body pains.

1. FIGHT

Shaking, trembling, increased blood pressure, sensation of anxiety trapped or building up in the body, yelling, throwing things, property destruction, balling hands into fists, feeling a knot in the stomach, crying, experiencing a tight jaw

2. FLIGHT

Shaking, trembling, becoming very “speedy”/nervous, searching for a way to escape or find a more open or even hidden space

3. FREEZE

“Selective Mutism” – paralyzed vocal cords/being unable to speak in anxiety-provoking situations, over-sleeping, physical immobility, wanting to become very small (curling up in a ball), becoming ultra-still & silent, reaching for things to “numb” with, inability to see or hear clearly (turning your sensory volume down to mitigate threat), generally disconnecting from the body, low energy/chronic fatique

4. FAWN

Busying oneself in the body by “taking care” of things/others, getting physically closer to the threat by becoming more appealing to it, dropping all physical boundaries

5. FLOP

Fainting, becoming physically unresponsive or collapsing, muscles may quit working

 

We can feel like we’re “going crazy” while doing this type of healing work because it breaks through our usual self-preservation mechanisms and the parts of the psyche (ego & superego) that “protect us” from feeling rejection, disconnection, pain, loss, and fear. That breaking through feels unfamiliar and unsafe at first, and activates and dysregulates the limbic system, which is the part of our brain responsible for memory, emotions, hormone regulation, and behaviors that we need for survival, like feeding, reproduction/sexual development, and caring for our children.

The limbic system goes into hyperdrive as it tries to determine how to deal with a perceived threat, causing us to react in ways that we don’t understand and that feel out of our control – hence, the 5 F’s. Reflexive chemicals flood our bloodstream quickly and put us in a survival zone. If this happens too frequently and for too long, the nervous system can get “stuck” in that self-protective patterning. Then we have to do quite a bit of nervous system restoration and somatic healing and repair to bring it closer to ground zero again where we can practice shadow work in a way that feels more manageable.